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He came over for dinner a couple of days later and pulled me into the bedroom while dinner was in the oven but when things got hot and heavy, he told me that he has 'performance problems' when he feels like he is in a relationship, and that he had felt that way since his birthday. He explained that this had been his misgiving all along from a year ago about being involved with me, and he had broken things off because he knew that we connected so well and that it would definitely be a 'relationship. He told me that he thought we had been in with each other for a time.
He apologized more than once "this is totally my hangup and not about you," I felt like he was being very honest and open with me.
He has taken Cialis in the past for this problem. He stayed over no sex. We left things that we would think about it and how we felt. The next afternoon, he e-mailed me that he had made an appointment with a urologist and a psychologist he's sure the problem is psychological, based on his history. He also suggested that we not dwell on this, because 'grand conversations' are 'poisonous' to new relationships. Obviously if we had just met I would walk away. I don't have a need to 'fix' men. But we have a strong foundation of friendship: I know we're great together in non-sexual ways.
And because we're friends, I trust that this is not some sort of complex game and I am amazed that we can talk about this so openly. I actually came out of last night feeling closer to him. Of course I don't want to be involved with a who is allergic to relationships. On the other hand, though I don't want for dating options, I don't think I have ever met anyone I clicked so well with. I don't know if it is worth waiting for him try to work through this thoughts?
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